May 7/06

I've become one of those loosers that only talkes about work. pathetic.
honestly, I have nothing to say that hasn't been said.
I hate school. thats that.I am SO ready to be done. to be out. to be onto something new. to have an adventure. ok. I'll stop that now.
we canditated a pastor this weekend. yup. I don't think I like him. and thats that.
pretty much I have nothing to say, but at the same time want to talk to someone. I haven't had a good, hearty talk with anyone in ages. I miss that. a bunch. I can see that, slowly, as people realize that I wont be here next year, I see them pulling away from me. and honestly, it hurts. and its starting to feel a bit lonely.
It is so wierd to look at the people that are my friends, and then look at my parents who do not have much contact with their high school friends... and that scares and saddens me, because these are the people that have supported me so so much through the last few years, and to think that I may not call them friends 5 years down the road.... terrifies me. Honestly, the worst thing for me about leaving saskatoon next year is the people. I don't really care about my bed, and the things I'll have to leave at home, but I am so scared of losing touch with the people that I really care about. And I will miss them even if we do keep in touch. and then I think about the things I will miss, and not being at home to support them when things suck.
I dunno... I think I've been thinking too much. and not sleeping enough.
ok, I'm supposed to be at a youth all nighter on friday, and then work all day on saturday. I honestly don't know how its gonna work. I'm tired enough as it is. yeah. I'm gonna end this now. except now I have to think of a title. I hate doing that. I really do. its the worst part of this. maybe I'll just start dating it. hm.
sweet dreams
Laurel