A bad day can only get worse

Today sucks. Its only lunch. I don't wanna go back to school. I hate school. I hate math. I hate life trans. Ihate my spare. I hate my morning. I hate my afternoon. I hate it all. Math, I got every freeking question wrong. I don't understand why. I think I'm doing it right, I undertsand everything the teacher teaches, but I get every question wrong still. I hate it. Then, I had a spare. whatever. usually its good, but today I had to stay at school because of school pictues. I hate school pictures. so I sat and read Red Moon Rising. which was good, but still, I was in the building, and I hate that. THEN, in life trans, Mr. Cooper made me think about what I was doing with my life. Make me barf. I have no idea what I am doing with my life, and being forced to think about it makes me want to cry. I'm only freeking 17, and I have alot of life to live still, so STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME INTO SOMEONE I'M NOT! I dont' want to be rich. I could live without a job, being a stay at home mom. I'm ok with that. I'm ok with being 25, and still not knowing what I'm doing, but working at a dead-end job. I'm ok living a life with no rules. I don't want rules. I dont' want to go to schoool. I dont' want to go to the trip on wednesday.
Know what else I hate? when I talk to someone I haven't talked to in a while, and they ask me if I have a boyfriend. NO!!! I don't have a boyfriend. and quite honestly, I dont' want one. that complecates my life, and frick, If I can't figure out what I'm doing with my life, how am I suposed to be responsible enough to have a relationship.
Bah. I am so grumpy. I am so angry. I just want to do nothing. I don't know what I want to do. I want to leave. I want to get out of saskatoon. away from everybody, and everything. I want to forget everything for a while. there is so much happening, and it all sucks.
Dad is having a triple bypass surgery. Our church is officially looking for a new pastor. School is really in swing. Ashlynn doesn' t talk to me anymore. Jeremy is so far away. Everything sucks right now. I hate it. I just want everything to be fine for just one day. One day when everything is how its supposed to be. but even then, there are the things bigger than me. hurricane Katrina, AIDS in africa, the stuff going on in the middle east. WHY CAN'T EVERYTHING BE PERFECT FOR A WHILE?
well... its getting to be time for me to go back to school. I think this is one of those situations, when I say my goodbyes to my parents, cuz Idont' know if I'll be coming back, like when I left for the canoe trip. I'll probably die. So, If I dont' return, I love you all.
Laurel