wax on, wax off
hm. I feel like writing something deep. but words evade me right now. My life is a dull mass of... boredom. School, meaningless. I look towards the relationships I build, rather than the things I do, and sometimes I see nothing but lonelyness. I see a girl who was once one of my best friends, now we are strangers. I see the people that I would see, day in and day out, and now, they are all but a sea of faces. I am lost in a place that the past 4 years of my life have been spent exploring, descovoring, adn leaving my mark on, only to find that it has been erased, and no one knows who I am, nor do they care to find out. I realized that I am past tired of trying to fit in, being the one that starts the convorsations.... what If I say nothing all semester? all year? I could handle that. I could handle being a loner. I think I'm comfortable enough with myself, that I could be a loner, and be fine with that. And I think thats what I'm gonna do.
I just realized something. I've been focusing way too much on how much I DON'T want to date that I've convinced myself that I should have a boyfriend by now. and that sucks.
that was random. I'm getting tired, and as I get more and more tired, I get more random. like the bug that keeps running into the computer screen... you'd think he'd get it but he doesn't. then... I think about Zach smelling Sam's feet tonight... that was really random too. Now, there are 3 little bugs on the screen. how annoying. I just picked my nose. bah. its time for bed, I'm exhausetd. call me if you have nothing ot do tommorow.... cuz I sure don't and would love to spend some quality time with YOU!
laurel
posted by Laurel @ 10:37 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
from: russel
laurel, if ya don't mind i like to share some of my outside perspectives about you. your a sort of a silent leader, who occationally doesn't want to lead. always pleasant to be around, whether your feeling pleasant or not. i don't know if you wanna hear any of this from me or not, but just remember, ya never know how to share faith with someone unless you talk to them. (dang, i gotta remember that one for myself:P)
ps: if i was there i'd definately wanna hang out with ya.
do you not know of the party of the century called lisa's moving to bc so come say bye to her? clearly you need to attend. i assumed ashley told you since you were at her house when i told her. so that's what you can do. it's at 7. at my house. give me a call if you don't know where that is. xo.
So sis... i'm not going to lie... i hated gr 12... it was a year full of boredom and crappiness... i'm pretty sure the only reason i got through it was because of my relationship with Jake... which is not a reason for you to get a b/f by the way... anyway... just to encourage you... life gets a lot better after grad... you have more freedom... and you can do what you want... hang out with the friends that you want... and are generally not forced to be around people you don't want to be around... so while you are at school... just look forward to the people you are going to spend time with after school... and perserver through everything else... in the end it won't be as bad as you think it is now... love you a lot sis
- Jer
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