Let go?

Halleluja, Halleluja, Whatever's in front of me help me to say Halleluja. Halleluja, Halleluja, Whatever's in front of me I choose to say Halleluja.
-Bethany Dillon


This last week has made leaving so much harder. I seem to be doing things all wrong, and completely backwards. Instead of starting to say goodbye, I am geting closer and closer to some of my friends. I can't count that as loss, but it will make leaving so incredibly much harder.

Its kinda like in a walk to remember, at the end. when he knows that she is dying, but still asks her to marry him. Would you do that? if you loved somebody? or being the girl, would you say no, becasue you would know much that it would make things harder for the boy? Or does it just not matter, because you love each other and the days spent together should be good enough?

25 days. the countdown is on. and the days keep getting smaller and smaller. there seems to be so much to do, and less and less time. I'm just trying to look at these next 24 days and sing 'Halleluja' and it is so much harder than it should be. But I just know that England is where God needs me to be this year.

It makes me think of David, and how he never disobeyed God. no matter how hard it was. no matter what his feelings were. Perhaps that is how he became a man after God's own heart. Is that the path I need to take to become the woman after God's own heart? I have been so far from God this summer, and I don't know how to draw close again. perhaps the first step is to let go of everything, and obey? any reasonable person would say so.
So how do I take the first step? how do I begin to let go?

Cause your words hit like a train and I can't ignore it
This moment could be our last
You fall in love and I'm running after
You move way too fast
But don't slow down
-Copeland



Laurel