I can't be here beside you- something's just not right

Yeah, My Dad is ok, Thanks for asking.
I will be fine in time. Thanks for asking.
Today, I did the hardest thing I will ever have to do in my life- watch my dad. Watch his body reject the machine that was helping him breathe. Watch him fade in and out of consciousness. And listen to his mubled, fogetful, slow sentances. his plead for water, even tho his body would reject it. his satement "I'm gonna die", when his plead is rejected. or hearing "I feel like hell". And after all of this, seeing my mom cry.
But I told Dad that I love him, and he understood that, if nothing else, and thats all that really mattered to me, even if he thought that he didn't puke up the water, although he had just told us that he had, 2 minutes earlier. you would think that the 10 minutes alloted for that hour would go by fast, but I have never in my life had 1o minutes feel so long, almost like 20-30 minutes. the parts that should seem like forever don't, and the ones that shouldn't, do. Like the waiting rooms.... they don't seem to take very long when I run today through my mind, instead its the totall of 30 minutes that I spent with My dad today. Its the 30 second hug from Jeremy when he got off of the plane, not the 15 minute wait. Its funny, how in a day like today, when at the end I'm left more exhausted than I have ever felt, all I remember is the REALLY important stuff. Ask me what the nurses and surgeon look like? I couldn't tell you. Ask me what my dad looks like.... I could paint you a picture. Ask me details of the surgery, like how long it took? no idea. all I know is what happend... in ENGLISH.
My exhaustion is really starting to hit. all I want to do is go to bed. and sleep for hours. but I guess I'm going to school tomorrow. how its gonna work? I have NO IDEA. but I'll give it a shot. I just don't want to have to tell EVERYONE about my dad, and how it went, and why I wasn't at school yesterday, and why I'm not doing most of my assignments. I'm gonna fall asleep if I stay here any longer.
Thank you so much for all of your prayers.
Laurel