Learning

I just realized that I can be so judgemental. but that is not what this blog is about, but I am.
You see, I look around at people and things that they do, and I tell myself 'I will NEVER do that', especially when it comes to being someone's 'girlfriend'. Now don't get this wrong. I am NOT telling you that I am dating someone, because that would be just plain silly 10 days before I leave, right?
These last few weeks, I have realized how easy it is to become all of those things that I have told myself I will never become. Things become alot more difficult when you are having to be yourself, as well as be with someone else. even with Ashley, its hard to be everything I tell myself that I am and that I should be.
This summer, I'm not gonna lie here, sucked alot when it came to my spiritual life. It was like... I was completely removed from the presance of God. I know, God is everywhere, but... its hard to describe what it was like. I tried, I really did, but it was too far to reach. But in the meantime, I learned alot about who I am as my own person, WITHOUT God to guide me and without the chruch telling me what I should be thinking, I learned what it is like to think the way the world wants you to think, not the way the bible tells us. Brainwashing? no, because you can't pick and choose things from the Bible, either you believe all of it, or none of it, you can't be lukewarm. So this summer, I learned what it is like to believe none of it. But the other day, ever so slightly, God was like 'Now, Laurel, this year, I am going to teach you what it is like to be a person in ME, to believe ALL of my word, and become holy because I am holy.' And all of a sudden... my summer seemed like it had a purpose. Like it was ok to NOT be blessed obscene amounts, to NOT be in constant communication with God ALL summer, sure, it sounds like blasphemy. But I am SO excited to learn what God has to teach me about myself as a daughtor of the King of Kings, and he has already started, and its like I have the fire of a new Christian, I'm excited to SHOW people what its like to be a christian.
I dunno, Guys, this might be really confusing... but I have been learning alot about myself, and about God, and I hope you can get it. Or at least understand a bit of where I'm comming from.
God is Good
All the Time,
Laurel