sad thoughts... a little bit.

The last couple of days, I've found myself reminding myself that I need to "Guard my heart, for it is the wellspring of life"
Its really hard to look at a guy who actually likes you, and not want to take advantage of that situation. hah. especially when you know that your younger brother has done more with a member of the opposite sex than you have. dang.
whats really hard is to be content from one day to the next, because as you go along you see things that you don't have, things that you want. Its hard to look at those things, especially when they are offered to you, and realize that you don't need that, and that in fact they might even be bad for you, and then turn it down.
I dunno. Life is complecated.
how come in TV shows about teenage life, they have to have a monumental horrific event in each episode? honestly, you could produce one problem at the begining of the series, and watch a teen struggle to find their way through ONE problem, rather than a bajillion events. If a real life person was to go through that, I wouldn't blame them for commiting suicide.
I was thinking about that the other day. When we were watching Hamlet in school actually. It must be absolutely terrible to be in a state where life is so bad, so overwhelming, that you don't know how to start to deal with everything, so you just end it. like Ophelia in Hamlet, she was grieving to the point of madness. how terrible would that be? I can't even begin to imagine.

Tommorow is my last day of high school ever. I don't know how I feel about that. Well.. obviously I am stoked out of my mind. but I think i might be a bit sad too. its funny to think that 10 years from now we won't even care who each other is, or what they are doing. I dunno. just a thought there.

anyways, I have a headache from this post, too much thinking.

Above all, Guard your heart, for it is the Wellspring of life,
Laurel