Speachless

What do I say? I sit here, again. Dealing with yet another bad thing. I've seen the worst things I have ever seen this year. I saw my pastor's kids, who are like siblings to me bawl into my lap, I've watched them learn that their dad is never comming home agian. I watched my mom as my Dad fell in and out of consciousness in ICU, watched her deal with a pretty much crippled husband. I watched my mom Deal with a husband who could die. And today, I watched my best friend fall apart. I watched her sleep instead of watching the movie. I watched her eat the first thing in almost 24 hours. I watched her fall apart with fear that her mom wasn't gonna come to church, and then I saw her melt into her mom's arms. and it broke my heart.
What is this all about? Ashley was at her dearest childhood friend's house last night for a sleepover, and woke up at 3 am to screams. Megan's brother had shot himself in the head. Can you imagine? I'm speechless.
I sit here in a stupor because I was woken up at 8 this morning with the news, and waited all day for ashely to come to my house. But ashley... She woke up at 3 to screams, and spent the rest of the night and the morning in a waiting room of RUH ICU.
I don't know. That was my day. I don't know what else I need to say or am supposed to say.
"Everything changes now." thats what I thought all Day. is it true? how can things be the same? I don't even know.

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten
-'Unwritten' ~Natasha Bedingfield



Is my window worth leaving open?
Because my life is being wasted
on the waiting period.
I want to live.

Laurel