A Life Worth Living-my sad sorry plea to the restricter.

{Don't read this if you think you might get hurt by my words}
so, I spent my weekend at Youth Advance at Bethany Bible College. was it good? you know it. But it wasn't all cheries either, there was some stuff that I had to work through, mostly saturday night.
I realized how much I let people (maybe one person inparticular) hold me back from living life the way life should be lived. And I think that in life, I need to take care of myself, and if that means hurting some one's feelings in order to life life the best way I know how, I need to do it. I need to let go of that person, that thing, that _____ness. you know? Even if that means forgetting about that something. Somethings just aren't ment to be, and when trying to sustain that something kills a smile, a laugh, a joy, a relatioship with Jesus, what more is there to live for, and why are you trying to make it live? Because.... I dunno. I was being held back so much by this one person, because they were [perhaps still are] holding onto me too much, so I realized that although I may need to let go, maybe push them away, and start laughing again. start living again. start WORSHIPPING God again. start doing what I was created for agian. I think I did. Any more to pursue a relationship only comes from them, and from me comes the same hollow feeling I get in my stomach when I think about the awkwardness and pain that was brought needlessly inot my life. Now, I know this is kinda sounding brutal, but I have been holding alot of this in for a long time. so now its out. and it feels good. I am FREE.
This weekend brough alot of freedom. alot of Courage, alot of Love, and alot of growth. it was really good.

Sweet dreams,
May you never be held back from a life worth living,
Laurel